Saturday, 17 March 2012

Here comes the bride...

I’m not sure the descriptor of ‘reality TV’ quite cuts it any more... this isn’t reality, this is some sort of weird and twisted world portioned up into bite sized chunks of shamefully delicious TV viewing.

These days I don’t get to watch much TV, but a Thursday night work party hangover (held in Fabric no less ?!?!) and a nose bunged to the max has me sofa bound, TV zapper firmly in hand. And what is this I’ve found... Another wedding programme doing zilch to quash us laydeez' rep for being  obsessive, over-emotional nut jobs, but offering up some undeniably mesmerising entertainment. 

Same old set up: 12-brides-to-be shacked up in a house together, competing to win their ultimate wedding. But wait! There’s more: not only does the victorious bride(zilla) get the wedding of her dreams, the contestants also compete each week to nab a nice new nose, chin, baps and/or buttocks in the different challenges set.

Bride #6: ‘Alexandra and her dress are all that stand between me and my boob job.’
Bridalplasty is part funny, part frightening. As I sit here in my slightly fragile state, I am unsure of whether to laugh or vom (though this could, in part, be due to last night’s activities). These women are adamant to walk down the aisle looking Hollywood perfect, but what about the fiancé stood expectantly at the altar? Bear in mind, this poor man hasn’t seen his lass in over 4 months, in which time she has undergone a complete face and body overhaul. Surely there’ll be a split second when he's lifted the veil and he suddenly thinks: ‘Who the hell are you?!’.

And so an hour of my life has passed and I can’t help but wonder what kind of woman would EVER want to go on a show like this. Or any ‘reality’ TV show for that matter; don’t even get me started on Embarrassing Bodies... 

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